I said maybe…. your gona be the bar that saves me…

Hey! I’m Lo for those of you who don’t know me yet from my rather jaw-dropping confessions that I write about on this here blog.  Well, this time I’m not here to write about misery and sadness (shock horror), nope, instead I’m here to tell you about my jaw-dropping skin results!

So you’ve heard of the the wonder bra right? It does wonders for your tits!? Well now the amazing geniuses behind new brand Carbon Theory bring you the ‘Wonder-Bar’ that does wonders for your zits! Seriously though, it really does. In a world where we are constantly being told ‘Buy this you NEED it, it will eliminate spots, bad memories, wrinkles, fine lines to deep furrows and all your student debts’ it is hard to know what genuinely works and what isn’t just some glossy-pretty-packaged load of tosh endorsed by flawless bloggers and celebs. I mean I’ve bought so much ‘tosh’ I may as well have set a light to my money and watched it burn – I shit you not, I’d probably have a perfectly pedicured foot on the property ladder by now because I’m convinced the ‘tosh’ I’ve bought equates to a deposit on a house. Hands up if your sick of it, and hands up if you need to transform your skin-care regime, fight the dreaded spots (including huge boil-like cystic acne ones) but want to do it without breaking the bank?! YES YES YES I hear you all scream!  Well look no further because this girl won’t lie to you, I won’t BS you when it comes to what works and what doesn’t as I think its morally wrong and I recognise the bigger picture!

Carbon Theory’s ‘Wonder-Bar (Its actually called ‘Charcoal & Tea Tree oil breakout-out control facial cleansing bar) is £6 from Boots or their website. £6!!Cheap as chips! Affordable for ALL which is when it comes to skin-care I think its important. Beautiful skin should be achievable for EVERYONE and not just those with deep pockets.

My skin got me down so much in my twenties especially and I tried EVERYTHING, from expensive dermatologists that I whacked on my credit cards to Roacutane that left me a quivering wreck and experiencing some very dark thoughts. I also tried £300 miracle creams that again didn’t work. I’ve had skin care regimes that involved tonnes of different products and were quite frankly exhausting. Last year I came off Doxycycline after 7 years straight on it – no breaks – its a powerful and super strong antibiotic that often left me nauseous and suffering from thrush all the time (sorry peeps but gotta be honest here). I had also tried Proactiv+ (endorsed by Katy Perry and Jessica Simpson) which at first seemed to be great but then ended up giving me an allergic reaction that gave me big weeping sores around my hairline (very attractive) and they bloody hurt too – emotionally and physically.

Imagine being told  “You’ve got a lovely face, its such a shame you have such bad skin”

Well theres a ‘double-entendre’ if I ever did hear one! My skin wasn’t just ‘bad’ it was bloody hellish, painful and impossible to cover with even the likes of the amazing ‘Double-wear’. To say it got me down is an understatement.  I eliminated dairy, smoking, caffeine, and almost everything I found fun but to no avail. For the majority of my twenties I was also pretty bloody skint like most of us are and so the Dr suggested the cheap NHS subsidised antibiotics but again – they didn’t work. I’d convince myself they were working so would get them on repeat just because I could. Every special event in my life such as my wedding day, my graduation last year in the summer (that I never thought I would see because for years I was a bloody joke and had little direction and made enough mistakes for every twenty something woman in England) to uni Law Ball’s with my classmates were marred by huge hormonal cystic spots. Like most young women I was pretty insecure anyway and these spots led to even greater feelings of insecurity and anxiety and there were many occasions where I declined offers of nights out because I felt so shit about my face.

On countless occasions I turned up to the Doctor’s complaining about my skin and I was treated like I was a nuisance – like it was something I should put up with or go and take privately. Not one doctor took me seriously with one trying to convince me that I must have Polycystic ovaries which by the way I definitely don’t after four tests all saying my ovaries were doing just fine – Praise be! Many doctors offered me contraceptives as a treatment for my acne but being almost forced to take hormonal contraceptives doesn’t sit well with me after my experiences with them and one particularly rude female doctor who said

“Your 27 I wouldn’t be getting contraception, I’d be thinking about having kids”

It wound me up so so much! Anyway…

One fine day I was aimlessly scrolling Instagram when I saw _Myskinstory ‘s post advertising Carbon Theory’s wonder-bar and I thought why the hell not give it a go?! The only thing I had to lose was painful spots and £6 if it didn’t work. It arrived in pretty packaging, in quick time and was just so simple – Use twice daily. For all you vegans out there its cruelty free too 🙂 (after working in an animal testing centre in New Zealand I can absolutely say there is no need to test on animals, it is simply barbaric and cruel but that’s another story). I can honestly say that THIS WORKS!!!!!! It truly works! In two weeks my skin was clear and I mean clear! Seriously though nobody has paid me for this as I’m simply not that important (yet 😉 ha) and nobody has asked me to write some BS blog post on why YOU need this bar! But really you do NEED this bar because its changed my life and as dramatic as that sounds its true! My spots are gone, I don’t wake up with new fresh heads of hell on my jawline and I even feel confident to go out without as much make up on. To put it bluntly Im feeling pretty smug 😉 I even fell asleep with a face full of makeup and didn’t wake with one new spot! Woo Hoo!

I believe this bar is good for ALL ages, for those with what we deem ‘normal’ teenage skin problems and for those who like me have much more serious cystic spots going on that need to get gone. Carbon Theory have also just released a new moisturiser too which I’m also super excited to try. This bar though like many products out there for bad skin doesn’t dry my skin out at all yet it does seem to control the oil production and I am less ‘shiny’ without appearing old. I think one of the most common questions I’d ask my girlfriends growing up was

“Do I look shiny?” because I produce enough oil to supply a chippy.

Anyway enough of my rambling and trying to convince you! Just try it yourselves! Trust me this worked for me and I have the proof… The pics say it all!

You won’t regret it!

Love Lo xxx

Good Grief

Sorry its been a while, Ive been dealing with grief – or trying to. The inevitable hit me hard like a tonne of shit-covered bricks and I wailed like I’ve never wailed before. The physical gut-wrenching pain that feels as though you will never be the same again needs to be spoken about more, we need to talk more about grief ‘period’ (as the Americans say). All I can say is a big fat ‘Thank you’ to my wonderful hubby Robbie (yes the Robbie in my blog is now my husband) he has been wonderful, kind, loving and held me when I cried so much I shook and felt it would never end. I don’ think it does end actually, I just think we learn to control ourselves a little better, but right now I’m not quite there. I hear a song – I cry, I smell her perfume – I cry, I see photos and I cry, basically I am a crying, quivering fucking wreck but I’m ok with it. Picking up her ashes from Heathrow Airport was pretty emotional too, it had been a long time since we’d been together and I felt it was right. It just felt like it was the last thing I could do for her – Literally. I cried the entire way to Heathrow, I wore my big huge sunglasses on the dark carriages of the tube as the salty little shits crept out my eyes without warning. Sometimes I know when I’m about to cry, but grief means that one minute your ok and the next your face is bright red and someone asks if your ‘ok’ which we all know makes the situation worse though they only mean well. To the cute new mum in Terminal 3 that day when I collected the most precious person I’ve ever met from an airport I want to thank you, thank you for hugging me while I cried standing there all alone in the terminal, thank you for your kind words and letting me peek at your beautiful bundle of joy who was just perfect. There we were  standing in arrivals, both of us with homemade signs – you just looked so cute unpacking the large A3 size poster sign you had made that you then stuck on your pram that read ‘Welcome home Daddy’ whilst your beautiful new born baby girl lay asleep totally unaware just how impactful she really was. It is true what they say ‘Where there is death there is life’ and as a very sceptical suspicious person who doesn’t tend to believe in ‘airy fairy bollocks’ I just know you were meant to be there that day. You being there signified life whilst I waited patiently with my pink card that read ‘Mum – Marion Talbot XXX’.

You see I’d told my sister (Annabel) that I’d make a sign so the lady bringing mum through would know it was me, I said I’d make it in pink because mum and Annabel always mocked me for being a bit tacky and aged 15 declaring I would call my children after the members of Destiny’s Child to which they pissed themselves at me. I guess it was my own fault for making a sign that suggested I was waiting for my living mum when in fact I was waiting for her ashes. People looked and smiled as I stood by the bit in ‘T3’ where that famous scene in ‘Love Actually’ was filmed, they smiled thinking how sweet I was being not knowing why I was really there, they smiled at me and the cute lady side-by-side waiting for the most important people in our lives. I was shaking like a nervous school girl as I waited for the family friend-of-a-friend who happened to be coming from New Zealand to England and kindly offered to bring mum back to the motherland. I was terrified I’d missed her and mum would get lost somewhere in Heathrow never to be found, cute lady was also terrified she’d missed her partner too who had been delayed making his way back from his business trip which was the first one he’d been on since their daughter was born. We kept waiting and stood there together for what felt like hours yet was probably more like 45 minutes, I turned and said

“Your sign is lovely, its proper made my day” I wasn’t lying – it really did make my day

she said “Thank you, yours is nice too, how long since you last saw your mum?”

Of course she was being kind and nice and not knowing what I was going through, the tears once again streamed down my cheeks and my foundation ran just like it did when I was in High School. She hugged me immediately momentarily letting go of her pram’s handle she clutched so protectively. She transferred her motherly love and compassion to me for those 30 seconds and smiled at me as she pulled away saying

“I know what your going through, Its ok to cry”

Her partner came through before mum did and I watched his face literally light up as he embraced her with nothing but pure love, I swear he’d have hugged the pram and picked it up too if he could.

The friend of the friend shortly followed and cute lady, baby and partner had just left after giving me another reassuring hug before leaving. The lady bringing mum saw my pink sign and smiled at me kindly then giving me another hug I was being showered with hugs and for a non-huggy type of person I was loving the physical human interaction. Friend of a friend said it was a pleasure to bring such precious cargo through and typical of me I said

“I do hope she behaved and didn’t talk the hind legs off a donkey like she normally does”

I laughed through my tears snorting ever so slightly knowing mum would be sniggering too.

That day went surprisingly well considering it was me and anyone who knows me knows I’m scatty, often late, often running somewhere with tickets in my hand and my handbag open making the super organised types very uncomfortable at the sight of me. Thats just how I roll and thats me, I’ve just come to accept it but for that day picking up my mum I’d made it in good time,collected her and bought her home to be with me so we could finally spend some time together after years apart. It felt good, it was ‘good grief’, it was such an emotional experience I cannot find the words. Since that day 4 weeks ago I have felt a genuine change in how I think, how I want to live my life and how not to take things for granted. Its possibly the most cliché and expected thing to say but material things, social media and moaning about first world problems just seem gross when considering the grand scheme of things. I know many people say it but my mum truly was one of the kindest most decent people ever to have graced this planet – the world was genuinely a better place when she was alive. The good always go too young, she put up with a hell of a lot but, in fact she went through hell for many years but she was awesome, her heart bigger than a Lionesses, her strength unfathomable and she will never be forgotten.

My next blog post will be up this week following on from part 13. I want to do this, I want to make my mum proud and speak out when something is wrong – she taught me that. She taught me that when something is wrong we must say something, she didn’t practice what she preached to me in terms of her putting up with certain people but she taught me to be fearless and say enough is enough because she wanted more for me just like I will want more for my children and family one day. One last Thank you to my cousin Tim who my mum loved very much – so much she chose him to be my god father, thank you for being a brilliant god father when I was a kid and thank you for your kindness recently too, may mum and Aunty Janet be up there drinking, smoking and having a ball with Nana too and of course being reunited with some beloved pets too.

I love you Mum

“Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport…”- Hugh Grant (Love Actually, 2003).