Tit Talk; TBD

Your probably wondering what is TBD!?! Is it some abbreviation like TBT? Well no. It stands for ‘Tuberous Breast Deformity’ and there are so many women and girls out there with it who are just afraid/embarrassed and ashamed to do jack shit about it. Tuberous Breast Deformity is actually a congenital deformity that results in the breasts not developing properly. There is often a large gap between them which I had as well as them basically looking like a pair of small tuberous sausage-spaniel ears (fuck that is so unsexy when I say it). I didn’t fit any bras properly and it looked like underneath there was no growth making me look like I had the tits of the lady from Something About Mary who loves a cheeky topless tan 😉 You can read more about it here from the NHS ‘s webpage.

There are so many women in the UK who are suffering in silence with this easily corrected congenital defect (defect sounds awful, your not a defect darling your a diamond but you know what I mean) I might be wrong, they might be more than comfortable with their body’s and if so then I am happy for you, but I certainly hated mine. I remember hating them when I was going through puberty and wondering why they just weren’t growing, I was(believe it or not) painfully shy around anything to do with my body growing up because my parents made it seem so taboo. I was at an all girls school and we had to get changed in front of each other and I HATED everything about PE even though I have always been sporty and am still a very active person. it was torturous this kind of thing, made me feel very embarrassed and well thank god I cared more about ponies than boys until I turned 17.

Here I am aged 17, in a new co-ed 6th form and theres boys EVERYWHERE. I literally had very few skills though and as I watched my new friends who were used to it I realised I had zero ‘Game’. One boy, dark haired, swagger like I’ve never seen (he sauntered in like he was from the set of Almost Famous) came over to my group of friends and offered us discount packets of B&H at £2.50 a pack. Even if I hadn’t been a smoker Id have still bought them just to talk to him, so I bought some and he let me have them on ‘tick’ until the next day. Fast forward two months and ‘J’ is my new boyfriend, and the looming thought of taking my top off is giving me serious anxiety! Well, if you read my ‘Lo-Life’ blog posts about my crazy few years then you will realise I married this bloke eventually and I NEVER took my top off until I had my surgery done…. lucky new husband 😉

No matter what we preach about body confidence and self-love, if YOU are not happy then you have every right to do something about it and not be made to feel bad/shallow or weak. I had, had several comments regarding my chest from many men and some girls too who had asked me why I had ‘no boobs’. None of their business but as I say, I grew up very anxious with low self esteem so these kind of comments were never forgotten and played on my mind all the time. I had tried EVERYTHING from push up bras to chicken fillets but I just knew something wasn’t right and I couldn’t ask my mum as by the time I would have felt brave enough she was full blown unable to have normal cognitive conversations.

I was 27 by the time I finally went to the doctor regarding my tits (it takes less effort to type tits, and we’re all grown ups right?). Id asked Rob if so many times if he liked big tits and if I should get a boob job to which he was always so kind in his response ‘Im an ass man baby and that ass is fine’ 😉 HA! On a serious note though, no woman needs validation from a man/woman/being, however we’d all be lying if we didn’t want to look sexy and beautiful for our partners! I did, I had finally found a man who treated me like a queen and thought i was drop dead gorgeous and I wanted to look even better but I also wanted to feel like a woman. I have to admit I didn’t feel like a woman at all, I felt stupid, shy and embarrassed and my ex had told me many times during our toxic relationship ‘Your not even a real woman, your a joke’ and so like many others, the more your told something the more you believe it. Well the older me now would tell him to go fuck himself and to possibly enquire about a penis extension but hey, lets be mature here shall we 😉 It took me weeks to finally book the appointment with my NHS GP and I had specifically asked for a female doctor as I felt too embarrassed to discuss my spaniel ear-tits with a male doctor, let alone showing him my bare chest.

My doctor was amazing, she was so kind, made me feel like I wasn’t being annoying because yes a big part of me felt horrible for even going when there are so many women out there fighting breast cancer or other horrible illnesses. I want you to understand that if it upsets YOU and you want to get it corrected then there is NO shame in that whatsoever! From my initial consultation with my GP, I was referred to another specialist who then confirmed the defect and suggested we went in for surgery that would consist of a Mastopexy and then implants. I needed the Mastopexy as my breasts were so under-developed and there was effectively no tissue on the under side of them, they would then put implants under the muscle and VOILA! I can say the NHS were AMAZING and I am forever grateful for the opportunity to get them fixed by one of the UK’s top surgeons who made me feel comfortable and gave me bangers that i am now proud of and that make me feel like a confident woman! My tits are 3 years old this November and every years since Ive had a ‘tit party’ and bought the girls a nice new bra to celebrate their beauty! Call me vain, call me shallow, call me selfish but as I said the NHS would not correct something if it didn’t need it! If you are suffering or feeling low and think you have the same then I urge you to go to your doctor before splashing out on private clinics and getting into debt! If you pay your taxes here and have an issue that isn’t your fault like this then you deserve it fixed! Below is a pic of my DD’s and I love them! I am forever grateful because the real psychological impact, though discussed light heartedly here really was severe.

IMG_0505

Theres a fab story here in the Daily Mail (sorry i know this paper is pure tripe but this I came across on the net) this brave lady set up a support group after going through it herself! Check it out if your in the same boat. Stay tuned for the next ‘TIT TALK’ under my ‘Lady-Bits’ section where I will discuss my surgery and the after effects.

Big Love (DoubleD BIG love 😉 ) Lo xx

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loho7xx

Girls girl, Womans woman, Animal lover, obsessed with dogs and textiles of all kinds!

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