Silence is Violence XIV

The pizza was amazing btw if your all wondering, he bought over Spicy chicken pizza from ‘Sergeant Peppers’ in Southport. If you haven’t been there then I suggest you do! I hope it’s still there. We talked for ages, he was a gentleman and didn’t try to make a move which I was glad about. I’ve always been awkward. This man was beautiful AND kind AND funny….

Lolly was still on side too but I expected she wasn’t going to provide me with a written statement though she was still a ok for me to give the ‘busies’ her number when I went. Excellent!

I recognised my ‘privilege’. I’m white and some might say middle-class with what all the girls in the flat called ‘a posh voice’ plus I was privately educated. To say I stuck out like a sore thumb was an understatement. Ok, so I was currently working in a brothel out of a dingy flat but I was aware of the difference in upbringings we all had and I was actually very aware of the situation I had found myself in somewhat being my own stupidity, my own fault. I felt shameful when I compared my situation to theirs and I felt even more shame when I was still sat there doing absolutely sweet FA about it. Shame was eating me up – that and many other things like having a totally dysfunctional family unit, a mum with a terminal illness and a broken down marriage to someone who was as toxic as the reunion with the Real Housewives of Cheshire but still – I had had it easier than any of the other girls in comparison.

It’s funny because I was already so aware of how this could go down with police; get it wrong and ‘R’ was getting away with grooming and pimping the vulnerable girls of the North West but get it right and the police might just take me seriously.

Rob had left his wife though and I was feeling very weird about it, I didn’t want to be a home-wrecker and I hated women who intentionally ‘stole’ men from their wives and kids. That wasn’t me. He told me it was a matter of time and that I had come along out of nowhere just like that cliché bolt out the blue. I got it. I felt the same. Still, I was only living in temporary accommodation at the time in a studio flat and as much as I was convinced he was truly ‘the one’ I also knew that I was known to romanticise people and situations. We all know those people on our friends list who have a new partner every few weeks and declare their undying love to one another publicly for the world to see – literally a few days later they are slagging each other off and we watch on like it’s entertainment. Eff that! I didn’t want that to be me this time, I was tired of being the joke.

Still even the man who had just left his wife and life didn’t know the severity of my situation, I didn’t want him to. I wanted to be seen from the start as stable, as a woman who is sexy because she’s in control of her shit and knows what she wants – not someone who needed ‘rescuing’. This man who had walked out of his home that he had a joint mortgage on didn’t know I was working for a drug addled ‘fixer’.

‘R’ may have fixed appointments but he broke every girl he sent to these vile people.

From the day I met Rob I knew this was someone I didn’t want to lead on and I also didn’t want to be led either. I’d sat back for months watching ‘R’ exploit, abuse, control and gain from this and he was getting worse and he was planning expansion. Already worked to the bone and having spent that time in hospital I knew I couldn’t handle what he had planned. I knew it was time to stand up, take control back and put a stop to this. It’s cliche af to say but something inside me was changing and I was sick of this shit. I wanted a future, a job, a family a career to be proud of I wanted that for me and the girls. Currently I was nothing more than a maid in a brothel and that made ME a criminal too.

Emily had given me emailed statements detailing the abuse she’d suffered, Lolly had given me the green light to give her number to the police and I’d even asked Susie what her thoughts were over a £5.99 all you can eat lunchtime Chinese special. Susie and i often went for an ‘All you can eat’ and I loved those moments of ‘reality’

Susie replied

“But what can you do? We need money, we get good work it’s ok, no?”

“No Susie, it’s not, he’s getting younger girls all the time it’s wrong”

“I know, but they choose it right?”

“See I don’t think they do, they are vulnerable they are there for the taking, he’s exploiting that, especially Ash and Serena, and look at Lolly and bloody Angel?!”

“True, I want to leave soon and go to Hungary, my body is tired and I have saved enough now”

“Susie I think you should go your too lovely for this shit”

“You too Lauren” (everyone called me Lauren)

‘R’ was getting more demanding by the minute and I was now getting regular phone calls asking me why I had missed bookings. I hadn’t missed any, as you know by now all the ‘work’ phones were blackberrys connected to his one which was like a ‘master’ phone. Our every move and message watched and he’d recently told me he had tapped into our personal phones and had details about our families… I tried to warn the girls of this when they stood round gossiping like girls do. What I had once thought were thinly veiled threats now had substance. This was the behaviour of a man who believed he was above the law and my paranoia was worse than ever.

He’d had the ‘Romanians’ working from his place in Manchester and I’d put a lot of bookings through for them too. They looked stunning on the website he advertised them on and he referred to them as his ‘work horses’. On a collection day (collecting his money from the flats) in Manchester he’d gone in to find the place empty. All girls had disappeared apparently and he was kicking off ranting and saying he was off to Romania and would I come too?! I asked why and he said he needed more girls now so would go back over and recruit some more, fly them over and get them working ASAP. It dawned on me that very moment that I was working for a pedophile, sex offender, pimp and human trafficker and it had just ‘levelled up’ on the sinister scale.

Fuck.

New young girls seemed to be coming and going all the time so much so I could barely keep up. Names were recycled and it seemed for every girl gone another was in the wings waiting. Emily’s emails were crazy but I believed her. It was always the same story when I’d asked the girls how they’d ended up here he was finding them on the internet, inviting them over for an ‘interview’ in mansions he had access to in Cheshire and was drugging them, raping them and then forcing them to work as prostitutes promising them better lives and seducing them with materialistic dreams of big cars and designed clothing. Lolly’s story was the same. The only one who’s differed was Susie’s who as you know was the only ‘professional’.

I’d never really asked Ash how she’d gotten there, I didn’t want to pry with her. But now I was alone with her for the night and as much as I wanted to go home I never felt comfortable leaving a girl in that apartment by herself. ‘R’ thought it was because I wanted to earn too but truth was if anything happened there would be safety in numbers. ‘Kylie’ the new girl had just left and she’d had her first day in hell too, most girls seemed to like it at first because it felt so forbidden and the money was too good to be true. Kylie went off with a smile and promise to return she too had had her ‘induction’ with ‘R’ and she’d not seemed put off. ‘Kylie’ was beautiful and buxom but also deaf in both ears and wore hearing aids. Her self esteem was through the floor and yet she was the sweetest girl. I liked her so much I hoped I didn’t see her again – I did though.

That night with Ash and I alone we got to chat and laugh and I realised Ash was super sweet, intelligent and just wanting to earn money to give the best to her little boy. We were similar- I had wanted to earn money to ‘save’ my parents from financial devastation but it wasn’t happening. I had been sending money back to pay the finance on my car so that HE could use it but had learned my dad had let the finance company take it away 😦

It all felt too much for me at times because on one hand if I went to the police the girls would blame me for ruining the business and they wouldn’t know where to go (though there are lots of operating brothels in the north west that advertise all over the Internet). But if I didn’t do anything I felt that something horrendous even more so than what had already happened was about to. Whatever I did it would upset somebody but you gotta just weigh it out.

Robbie had asked if I wanted to get away for a few days and go down to Cornwall to meet his family! Jesus that was a bit soon but I said yes. Again I would have to ask permission and make it into a lie so ‘R’ didn’t know what I was really doing. Knowing ‘R’ would set out to ruin things for me if he got wind of the fella…..

I was going to face my fears in Cornwall because we were A. Flying there and I am terrified of flying and B. I was going to ask Robbie what to do. I needed to get this shit off my chest properly with someone not involved. If he was going to love me entirely he’d have to love me warts n all!

Love Lo xxxx

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loho7xx

Girls girl, Womans woman, Animal lover, obsessed with dogs and textiles of all kinds!

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