I said maybe…. your gona be the bar that saves me…

Hey! I’m Lo for those of you who don’t know me yet from my rather jaw-dropping confessions that I write about on this here blog.  Well, this time I’m not here to write about misery and sadness (shock horror), nope, instead I’m here to tell you about my jaw-dropping skin results!

So you’ve heard of the the wonder bra right? It does wonders for your tits!? Well now the amazing geniuses behind new brand Carbon Theory bring you the ‘Wonder-Bar’ that does wonders for your zits! Seriously though, it really does. In a world where we are constantly being told ‘Buy this you NEED it, it will eliminate spots, bad memories, wrinkles, fine lines to deep furrows and all your student debts’ it is hard to know what genuinely works and what isn’t just some glossy-pretty-packaged load of tosh endorsed by flawless bloggers and celebs. I mean I’ve bought so much ‘tosh’ I may as well have set a light to my money and watched it burn – I shit you not, I’d probably have a perfectly pedicured foot on the property ladder by now because I’m convinced the ‘tosh’ I’ve bought equates to a deposit on a house. Hands up if your sick of it, and hands up if you need to transform your skin-care regime, fight the dreaded spots (including huge boil-like cystic acne ones) but want to do it without breaking the bank?! YES YES YES I hear you all scream!  Well look no further because this girl won’t lie to you, I won’t BS you when it comes to what works and what doesn’t as I think its morally wrong and I recognise the bigger picture!

Carbon Theory’s ‘Wonder-Bar (Its actually called ‘Charcoal & Tea Tree oil breakout-out control facial cleansing bar) is £6 from Boots or their website. £6!!Cheap as chips! Affordable for ALL which is when it comes to skin-care I think its important. Beautiful skin should be achievable for EVERYONE and not just those with deep pockets.

My skin got me down so much in my twenties especially and I tried EVERYTHING, from expensive dermatologists that I whacked on my credit cards to Roacutane that left me a quivering wreck and experiencing some very dark thoughts. I also tried £300 miracle creams that again didn’t work. I’ve had skin care regimes that involved tonnes of different products and were quite frankly exhausting. Last year I came off Doxycycline after 7 years straight on it – no breaks – its a powerful and super strong antibiotic that often left me nauseous and suffering from thrush all the time (sorry peeps but gotta be honest here). I had also tried Proactiv+ (endorsed by Katy Perry and Jessica Simpson) which at first seemed to be great but then ended up giving me an allergic reaction that gave me big weeping sores around my hairline (very attractive) and they bloody hurt too – emotionally and physically.

Imagine being told  “You’ve got a lovely face, its such a shame you have such bad skin”

Well theres a ‘double-entendre’ if I ever did hear one! My skin wasn’t just ‘bad’ it was bloody hellish, painful and impossible to cover with even the likes of the amazing ‘Double-wear’. To say it got me down is an understatement.  I eliminated dairy, smoking, caffeine, and almost everything I found fun but to no avail. For the majority of my twenties I was also pretty bloody skint like most of us are and so the Dr suggested the cheap NHS subsidised antibiotics but again – they didn’t work. I’d convince myself they were working so would get them on repeat just because I could. Every special event in my life such as my wedding day, my graduation last year in the summer (that I never thought I would see because for years I was a bloody joke and had little direction and made enough mistakes for every twenty something woman in England) to uni Law Ball’s with my classmates were marred by huge hormonal cystic spots. Like most young women I was pretty insecure anyway and these spots led to even greater feelings of insecurity and anxiety and there were many occasions where I declined offers of nights out because I felt so shit about my face.

On countless occasions I turned up to the Doctor’s complaining about my skin and I was treated like I was a nuisance – like it was something I should put up with or go and take privately. Not one doctor took me seriously with one trying to convince me that I must have Polycystic ovaries which by the way I definitely don’t after four tests all saying my ovaries were doing just fine – Praise be! Many doctors offered me contraceptives as a treatment for my acne but being almost forced to take hormonal contraceptives doesn’t sit well with me after my experiences with them and one particularly rude female doctor who said

“Your 27 I wouldn’t be getting contraception, I’d be thinking about having kids”

It wound me up so so much! Anyway…

One fine day I was aimlessly scrolling Instagram when I saw _Myskinstory ‘s post advertising Carbon Theory’s wonder-bar and I thought why the hell not give it a go?! The only thing I had to lose was painful spots and £6 if it didn’t work. It arrived in pretty packaging, in quick time and was just so simple – Use twice daily. For all you vegans out there its cruelty free too 🙂 (after working in an animal testing centre in New Zealand I can absolutely say there is no need to test on animals, it is simply barbaric and cruel but that’s another story). I can honestly say that THIS WORKS!!!!!! It truly works! In two weeks my skin was clear and I mean clear! Seriously though nobody has paid me for this as I’m simply not that important (yet 😉 ha) and nobody has asked me to write some BS blog post on why YOU need this bar! But really you do NEED this bar because its changed my life and as dramatic as that sounds its true! My spots are gone, I don’t wake up with new fresh heads of hell on my jawline and I even feel confident to go out without as much make up on. To put it bluntly Im feeling pretty smug 😉 I even fell asleep with a face full of makeup and didn’t wake with one new spot! Woo Hoo!

I believe this bar is good for ALL ages, for those with what we deem ‘normal’ teenage skin problems and for those who like me have much more serious cystic spots going on that need to get gone. Carbon Theory have also just released a new moisturiser too which I’m also super excited to try. This bar though like many products out there for bad skin doesn’t dry my skin out at all yet it does seem to control the oil production and I am less ‘shiny’ without appearing old. I think one of the most common questions I’d ask my girlfriends growing up was

“Do I look shiny?” because I produce enough oil to supply a chippy.

Anyway enough of my rambling and trying to convince you! Just try it yourselves! Trust me this worked for me and I have the proof… The pics say it all!

You won’t regret it!

Love Lo xxx

Tit Talk Part II; Post surgery

 

I am forever grateful for my new tits but I do think it’s really important to be frank about the situation. Maybe if someone had been a bit more honest or maybe I’d gone to the right people about it then Id have possibly not got such big jugs! Whilst I love them, they have their down sides but hey thats life, to gain something you must sacrifice another and in this case Ive sacrificed cute tops/cute bras and sleep!

My surgery was quite invasive as stated in my previous post, my chest was actually the way it was because of TBD or Tuberous Breast Deformity that is a congenital defect. In order to have nice Babylon’s I required Mastopexy and implants. Mastopexy is basically the medical term for an uplift which has left me with some ‘anchor’ shaped scars. The implants were then placed under the muscle to give them a nicer more natural effect and voila! Tasty tits! I had been on the waiting list for a few months and 4 days before my surgery was called by the hospital in Whiston who said there had been a cancellation and would I like to come in?! I have to be honest, I shit myself (not literally) but I am a massive pussy when it comes to anything medical and being an anxious mess anyway this scared the living daylights out of me. I have a BIG issue with not being in control these days and I am terrified of flying/being driven by others as well as being under anaesthetic, I had lived my life prior to my ‘getting my shit together phase’ so out of control that in my road to recovery I have become quite the opposite; strict with myself as well as being a massive fanny over things that I’d never thought twice about! I decided to be a big girl about it I mean after all in the grand scheme of things Id overcome and faced much scarier situations. I had been desperate for my ugly chest to be fixed since realising I was not growing like my friends were, as discussed before, it left me feeling genuinely shit and no it wasn’t some sob story for free tits. I had been told by the GP and then consultant that I was one of the most extreme cases they had ever come across (I guess I won at something).

The surgery was scheduled for Sunday morning and I had uni the next day, I’d just started my law degree and had promised myself I wouldn’t fuck it up this time 😉 so naturally I did what any normal person who had had 4 hours of invasive surgery the day before and went to my public law lecture for 9am the next day! After I came around from the surgery I was really unwell and felt bloody awful, I remember wailing a load of bollocks and thinking I was in a rave! I’d had a bad reaction to the anaesthetic and in recovery I spewed for a solid 2 hours whilst they insisted I stayed over which I point blank refused because I wasn’t missing a friggin lecture! Gone were my rebellious days Id decided! The pain wasn’t too bad and all they sent me home with was some paracetamol! Ha! your talking to a woman who can handle copious amounts of codeine and tramadol (that is not a boast though, prescription pills are evil too and just as bad as illegal drugs) and who used to eat them for breakfast to just numb the pain of my miserable life when working for ‘R’. My chest was HUGE and considering Id been an A-cup at best I now felt like an inflated sex doll which actually did worry me a bit because I’ve actually always been so shy concerning my looks and would rather go unnoticed there which seems odd because you’d be forgiven in thinking ‘well why the hell get them corrected if you don’t like being stared at’

I got home from the hospital that night, knocked myself out and woke up in the morning forgetting I had new tits….ouch is all I can say! Where it hurt the most was at the sides of my arms because we take for granted the movement of our upper body and how we use our arms and chest together. I Made the fatal error of getting in the bath and having to scream for rob to wake up so he could literally pick me out of it as I could not use my arms at all to hoist myself out! I had dressings on my wounds which are anchor shaped as stated and was advised to change them every day. I was at one point worried the wounds were not healing well but this was for the first 3 weeks they looked pretty grim to be honest but then it was like they suddenly healed over night! I applied lots of bio oil and it has certainly helped them heal nicely. I have some very funny looking scars around the nipples because they literally sewed me some new ones on and so I call them my Zig and Zag tits as they look like the annoying but cute googly-eyed tossers (no I don’t mean Chris Evans you rude bunch) from The Big Breakfast circa 90s.

So, all in all it took around 6 months for them to be fully healed and feel comfortable, i must stress though that in my experience and my friends who have had the surgery DO NOT go too big! Don’t get carried away and think you want to end up like Pamela because in all honesty they weigh a tonne if you’re not used to them, you also have to become used to being ogled at by some rather rude men who haven’t quite figured out that women have faces too! I get a lot of neck and shoulder tension and have spent a fortune at the chiro and acupuncture clinics. One thing nobody mentioned to me either was that they can feel so odd and when you lie on your side it can freak you out I have on several occasions felt the implants move and that frightened me. I have been reassured that it is just because your body is getting used to foreign objects and so it can take a year or two to even settle properly. I also used to get constant twinges and weird sensations in my left tit which i called ‘left tit jip’ and this is because my left breast was so under developed compared to the right side it was basically flat so my skin had to stretch a lot to accommodate my new baps.

Was it worth it? Hell yes! my confidence has improved so much and I am no longer ashamed to buy bras or wear low cut tops but I cannot stress enough that in a few years when they need replacing I am absolutely going to get them smaller and opt for the tear-drop shaped implants. I was silly and freely admit that possibly idolising Barbie as a kid was probably not the healthiest thing for a young girl 😉 The down side is that if and when I have children I won’t be able to breast feed but the Doctor said that in his opinion I wouldn’t have been able to anyway so hey ho as in anything there are pros and cons. I am just happy to feel like a woman; nobody understands the shame you have at anyone finding out that you’re a freak the feel is real! I had 390cc silicone implants and that has left my A-cup chest with big DD’s I am also 5ft 7 so I have a sturdy frame but if you’re a petite wee thing then think before going big!

Thanks for stopping by! Any questions regarding surgeons/Questions for your GP etc please don’t hesitate to contact me! (featured image is me 4 days after, I wanted to see what they looked like in a sexy top as i had never worn one before, you can see the white dressings on each breast underneath)

Love Lo xxx

Tit Talk; TBD

Your probably wondering what is TBD!?! Is it some abbreviation like TBT? Well no. It stands for ‘Tuberous Breast Deformity’ and there are so many women and girls out there with it who are just afraid/embarrassed and ashamed to do jack shit about it. Tuberous Breast Deformity is actually a congenital deformity that results in the breasts not developing properly. There is often a large gap between them which I had as well as them basically looking like a pair of small tuberous sausage-spaniel ears (fuck that is so unsexy when I say it). I didn’t fit any bras properly and it looked like underneath there was no growth making me look like I had the tits of the lady from Something About Mary who loves a cheeky topless tan 😉 You can read more about it here from the NHS ‘s webpage.

There are so many women in the UK who are suffering in silence with this easily corrected congenital defect (defect sounds awful, your not a defect darling your a diamond but you know what I mean) I might be wrong, they might be more than comfortable with their body’s and if so then I am happy for you, but I certainly hated mine. I remember hating them when I was going through puberty and wondering why they just weren’t growing, I was(believe it or not) painfully shy around anything to do with my body growing up because my parents made it seem so taboo. I was at an all girls school and we had to get changed in front of each other and I HATED everything about PE even though I have always been sporty and am still a very active person. it was torturous this kind of thing, made me feel very embarrassed and well thank god I cared more about ponies than boys until I turned 17.

Here I am aged 17, in a new co-ed 6th form and theres boys EVERYWHERE. I literally had very few skills though and as I watched my new friends who were used to it I realised I had zero ‘Game’. One boy, dark haired, swagger like I’ve never seen (he sauntered in like he was from the set of Almost Famous) came over to my group of friends and offered us discount packets of B&H at £2.50 a pack. Even if I hadn’t been a smoker Id have still bought them just to talk to him, so I bought some and he let me have them on ‘tick’ until the next day. Fast forward two months and ‘J’ is my new boyfriend, and the looming thought of taking my top off is giving me serious anxiety! Well, if you read my ‘Lo-Life’ blog posts about my crazy few years then you will realise I married this bloke eventually and I NEVER took my top off until I had my surgery done…. lucky new husband 😉

No matter what we preach about body confidence and self-love, if YOU are not happy then you have every right to do something about it and not be made to feel bad/shallow or weak. I had, had several comments regarding my chest from many men and some girls too who had asked me why I had ‘no boobs’. None of their business but as I say, I grew up very anxious with low self esteem so these kind of comments were never forgotten and played on my mind all the time. I had tried EVERYTHING from push up bras to chicken fillets but I just knew something wasn’t right and I couldn’t ask my mum as by the time I would have felt brave enough she was full blown unable to have normal cognitive conversations.

I was 27 by the time I finally went to the doctor regarding my tits (it takes less effort to type tits, and we’re all grown ups right?). Id asked Rob if so many times if he liked big tits and if I should get a boob job to which he was always so kind in his response ‘Im an ass man baby and that ass is fine’ 😉 HA! On a serious note though, no woman needs validation from a man/woman/being, however we’d all be lying if we didn’t want to look sexy and beautiful for our partners! I did, I had finally found a man who treated me like a queen and thought i was drop dead gorgeous and I wanted to look even better but I also wanted to feel like a woman. I have to admit I didn’t feel like a woman at all, I felt stupid, shy and embarrassed and my ex had told me many times during our toxic relationship ‘Your not even a real woman, your a joke’ and so like many others, the more your told something the more you believe it. Well the older me now would tell him to go fuck himself and to possibly enquire about a penis extension but hey, lets be mature here shall we 😉 It took me weeks to finally book the appointment with my NHS GP and I had specifically asked for a female doctor as I felt too embarrassed to discuss my spaniel ear-tits with a male doctor, let alone showing him my bare chest.

My doctor was amazing, she was so kind, made me feel like I wasn’t being annoying because yes a big part of me felt horrible for even going when there are so many women out there fighting breast cancer or other horrible illnesses. I want you to understand that if it upsets YOU and you want to get it corrected then there is NO shame in that whatsoever! From my initial consultation with my GP, I was referred to another specialist who then confirmed the defect and suggested we went in for surgery that would consist of a Mastopexy and then implants. I needed the Mastopexy as my breasts were so under-developed and there was effectively no tissue on the under side of them, they would then put implants under the muscle and VOILA! I can say the NHS were AMAZING and I am forever grateful for the opportunity to get them fixed by one of the UK’s top surgeons who made me feel comfortable and gave me bangers that i am now proud of and that make me feel like a confident woman! My tits are 3 years old this November and every years since Ive had a ‘tit party’ and bought the girls a nice new bra to celebrate their beauty! Call me vain, call me shallow, call me selfish but as I said the NHS would not correct something if it didn’t need it! If you are suffering or feeling low and think you have the same then I urge you to go to your doctor before splashing out on private clinics and getting into debt! If you pay your taxes here and have an issue that isn’t your fault like this then you deserve it fixed! Below is a pic of my DD’s and I love them! I am forever grateful because the real psychological impact, though discussed light heartedly here really was severe.

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Theres a fab story here in the Daily Mail (sorry i know this paper is pure tripe but this I came across on the net) this brave lady set up a support group after going through it herself! Check it out if your in the same boat. Stay tuned for the next ‘TIT TALK’ under my ‘Lady-Bits’ section where I will discuss my surgery and the after effects.

Big Love (DoubleD BIG love 😉 ) Lo xx